Starting College...

To dance is to be out of yourself.  Larger, more beautiful, more powerful.

Alright so here's the thing. I'm really just a kid. And I want to remain that way as long as possible. It is very difficult to do this while having to be a grown up. I have a part-time (and sometimes full-time) job. I'm moving into my new dorm in 3 days. All of a sudden I'm going to have bills! I'm going to have a full-time class schedule, as well as (hopefully) coaching cheerleading on the side. So here are my fears about college.

1. Not having time to read or just relax. I just wouldn't feel like myself if I didn't read at least a book a week. You know what that takes? Time. And I probably won't have much of it.

2. Friends and roommates. What if I'm that really weird kid? How would you know if you were the weird kid? Do weird kids know that they are weird? Cause they don't really act like it so they probably don't know. What if all of sudden I loose all semblance of social skills? It could happen. Guess if this happens I'll have a lot of time for my studies.

3. I might miss my mom. My mom is the best. Yes it is true. I still pretty much go to her for everything. She won't be very far away but I want to be able to do things by myself. I can pay for my own housing, my tuition, I can buy myself clothes and necessities but I can never replicate the support and advice she gives me.

4. I might miss high school. So I might complain a lot, but I really enjoyed high school. Everything was easy. Boys, grades, fun. I just can't ever recapture those days. Good thing the memories are pretty good. I definitely learned a ton. High school also reminded me that some things are hard but they are there to make you stronger as long as you don't let them beat you. Optimism isn't about thinking that good things are going to happen to you, it's about reminding yourself of the good that comes out of times that are really hard. That every cloud has a silver lining. Stop me when I sound preachy.

5. Schedules. I don't do well with them. I like being in charge of my own life. To me, everyday needs to come with fresh challenges and that just doesn't happen with that scheduled, monotonous lifestyle. I guess you could say I'm a dreamer, or a free spirit because I hate the restraints of schedules. Maybe I just hate class. Haha

In life, as in dance, grace glides on blistered feet.

Well, that's just the tip of the iceberg. (Brrr. Don't you feel cold?) But I can only say that as stressful and nervous as this makes me, it also makes me more determined to be okay. And things will be okay. Grace glides on blistered feet. And I have blistered feet. Just ask my dance teacher.